Hakim Pervaiz, the President of Taqwa Masjid usually leaves Friday prayers a happy man but his post-Juma happiness streak abruptly ended last Friday when his shoes went missing.
“It was as if they just walked away on their own,” said Pervaiz, who had a sentimental attachment to his Reebok Pumps which he found to be ‘cool’. “I used to pump them up every morning before I left the house because the pumping technology gave it a better fit”. Pervaiz enjoyed pumping his shoes to increase his versatility when in the mosque office.
After Pervaiz’s shoes went missing, he panicked and ran home in his socks in the rain. “It was the most excruciating thing I’ve ever done in my entire life” he explained. He ran three miles when it suddenly dawned on him that he actually drove to the mosque that day.
Hakim isn’t pointing fingers but he feels that the perpetrator is an attendee at the mosque. He says this because shoes and jackets have been disappearing mysteriously after every prayer. Another shoe victim, Tarek Khan, switched mosques due to the increase in shoe crime. “It was ridiculous. After every prayer I couldn’t find my shoes so I built another mosque across the street where we just pray with our shoes on. It may not have the best smelling carpet in the world but I at least I still have my shoes on.”
Another anonymous shoe victim states that he doesn’t mind it when people take his shoes because he just steals another pair from someone else. “It’s great. Someone took my old sneakers so I just stole these shoes that have built-in roller-skates. People at my office are so jealous.”
Other mosque patrons bring their non-Muslim friends in the shoe area to keep an eye on their shoes during the prayer. “It’s a win-win situation for Carl, my non-Muslim friend.” said Pervaiz, “He gets to learn more about Islam through the khutbah and at the same time my shoes are safe.”
Although Carl finds the job degrading, he says he will accept Islam the day the Muslims find a solution to the parking problem at Juma. Carl remains a Hindu to this day.
January 12th, 2008 at 10:34 am
we had a shoe thief at our masjid! my sisters chapal got stolen. she was really depressed.
January 18th, 2008 at 8:31 am
yeah, someone jacked my vans once >:(
January 20th, 2008 at 9:34 am
“After every prayer I couldn’t find my shoes so I built another mosque across the street where we just pray with our shoes on. ”
I can imagine!
February 12th, 2008 at 12:28 am
El hamdoullillah
when you’re a sister with size 11 feet…no one ever steals your shoes
February 16th, 2008 at 1:38 am
HAHAHA!! That’s soo funniii!!!! NOT
May 21st, 2008 at 9:13 am
this is so funny….and in South Africa its really a serious prayer hazard. Some ppl even keep a spare pair of shoes in their cars!!!!
July 7th, 2008 at 12:09 am
Alhamdoulilah we dont have that in my masjid.
July 7th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
“It was ridiculous. After every prayer I couldn’t find my shoes so I built another mosque across the street where we just pray with our shoes on. It may not have the best smelling carpet in the world but I at least I still have my shoes on.”
HAHA THAT IS GUNNAH! lol but imagine if some dimwit individual actually did that! lol.
July 25th, 2008 at 4:29 am
“It’s great. Someone took my old sneakers so I just stole these shoes that have built-in roller-skates. People at my office are so jealous.”
Haha, stupid git.
- Abdul Wahab
January 13th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
LMAOOO!!
”CARL REMAINS A HINDU TO THIS DAY’ XD
October 12th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Another anonymous shoe victim states that he doesn’t mind it when people take his shoes because he just steals another pair from someone else. “It’s great. Someone took my old sneakers so I just stole these shoes that have built-in roller-skates. People at my office are so jealous.”
ahahahahha