A Typical Day

Written by: Hamzah Moin

Call it either MSA (Muslim Students’ Association, IS (Islamic Societies) or anything else Muslim-ish, they all have the same old hoohah.

Fatima’s Mind

La la la la la la la la just another normal day at school. Gosh I’m so happy. This is the best day of my life. Giggle.

*suddenly a girl named Ayesha emerges from the corner*

OMG it’s her. Ugh she’s so stupid and nasty and I hate her so much. What a rumour spreader. If I were to make a top ten list of girls I hate at school she’d be #1 through #10. UGH. I swear if she comes this way and …

Fatima: Assalamu Alaikum! How are you Ayesha? I missed you sooooo much *giggle*
Ayesha: Walaikumu Salam. I missed you too. I gotta get going. See you!

Haha what an idiot. Going where? Off to talk to boys like you always do? Huh? Yeah that’s right. You stole my last crush and you KNEW you stole him from me I know it. I wonder if she knows that STEALING IS HARAM.

Hmmm I hope she doesn’t think that my greeting was fake. I better say something nice to her so she won’t think of anything stupid because she’s stupid like that.

Fatima: Hey Ayesha send my salams to Abdullah for me.

Ayesha’s Mind

OMG did she just say that? I cannot believe that. What an idiot. Fatima is the biggest loser in the world omg. She thinks Abdullah and I have something going on but like what the hellizo is she talking about. I only talk to Abdullah on MSN a few times. And even on MSN it’s STRICTLY Muslim-work business. And we send a few of those nudges lol but those aren’t haram. And those winks are cute too.

But like I don’t think I like Abdullah at all. In fact I thought he is all into those Persian chicks. I like Persian carpets and all but all those Persian girls make me wanna tighten their hijab until they choke ahaha.

*suddenly two girls named Saira and Nadia come through the doors*

Oh here comes the Gossip Train boarding platform four. CHOO CHOO. LOL good one Ayesha. Guys like a girl with a sense of humour. I’ll keep that one in mind.

Nadia: Salam Aishies!
Saira: Salam!
Ayesha: Oh walaikumu salam girls! Guess what just happened?
Nadia: What?
Ayesha: OMG guess what Miss I-take-2-hours-in-the-morning-to-match-my-hijab-with-my-socks said to me just now?
Saira: Who? Fatima? What’d she say?
Ayesha: UGH you aren’t going to believe this even if I told you.
Nadia: What!?
Ayesha: So I’m leaving the office and she says to me “HEY HO, ABDULLAH DOESN’T LIKE YOU ANYMORE”
Nadia: What!??!
Ayesha: I know I was going to cry!
Saira: We’ll take care of the problem. C’mon let’s go Nadia.

Saira’s and Nadia’s Minds

This is so stupid OMG Fatima that female dog is so full of trouble. She is SOOOOO going to get what’s coming to her. I can’t believe she pressured Abdullah into stop liking Ayesha.

I hate her I hate her I hate her I hate her I hate her I hate her I hate her I hate her

So maybe Ayesha got a bit close to Abdullah because of the MSA. What can SHE do? Stop talking to the president of the MSA? How would we FUNCTION? We need a communication to the president! Ayesha had every right to talk to Abdullah.

Fatima is stupid and her hijabs are always ugly.

*Abdullah enters*

OMG there he is. Oh shoot what should I say OH NO.

Mmmm he’s wearing that gray turtleneck again.

Abdullah: *lowers gaze, mild muttering*
Saira: *cough*
Nadia: Mmmmm

*Abdullah leaves*

Abdullah’s Mind

I’m not sure if I want to eat Spaghetti tonight. I ate macaroni in the morning and TWO pastas in one day is a bit much.

Saira’s and Nadia’s Minds

What the hellizzle is that? The guy can’t even say Salam to a sister?? He talks to 8000 non-Muslim women a day but when a Muslim sister comes along it’s all of a sudden “oh I’m pious”. THAT’S BALONEY.
I think he saw me.
Maybe if I wore an outfit that resembled the floor he would have said Salam to me. What an idiot. I dunno how he became President.

*Ayesha enters*

Saira: Abdullah is lame!
Ayesha: Huh?
Nadia: Don’t worry about it.
Ayesha: Whatevs. Let’s go confront her.

*the girls start giggling to themselves when they see Fatima heading their way*

Fatima: Assalamu Alaikum girls!
Saira: Fatima!!!
Nadia: Hiiiiiiiiiiii. Nice hijab Fatima!
Fatima: Thanks! Wow I haven’t seen you in forever!!

*Fatima, Saira and Nadia hug*

Ayesha: Salam Fatima!
Fatima: Heyyyyy.

*Fatima and Ayesha hug*

Ayesha: Listen we need to talk.
Fatima: Yes we do.
Ayesha: Why are you saying that I like Abdullah?
Fatima: WHAT? I never said that! You liar!

*Abdullah enters*

Abdullah: Assalamu Alaikum sisters, just a reminder we have a meeting later today. Hey Ayesha, how’s vice presidency of MSA coming along?
Ayesha: Same old.
Abdullah: Great. And Fatima. How’s the position of treasurer? Not too much stress?
Fatima: It’s okay.
Abdullah: Awesome. And Saira. How are you liking secretary?
Saira: It’s pretty fun taking notes.
Abdullah: Perfect. And you Nadia. How do you like Public Relations?
Nadia: I like it so far.

Abdullah: Great! I think we have a great group of people for our MSA Executive. Together we can make this Muslim community great! We’re a team! Yaaay.