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Written by: Hamzah Moin
The tongue is something that we have to guard very carefully.
Many people just talk and talk without realizing the dangers of it. Our mouth really sucks and can get us in a lot of trouble. Here are some examples of things we should either avoid or pay closer attention to.
This one is the most obvious… especially with our people and airports. They already treat us like crap in the airports. We have to be extra careful with our words.
An example is the word “bomb”. Today’s slang tells us that the word bomb is cool. “This biryani and hummus is the bomb.” “This pen is the bomb.” “Billy Crystal is the bomb.”
This word should be avoided at airports at all cost. I mean it’s fine and dandy from our perspective.
Cute huh? Well look at ummm the other perspective.
Do not use this word until our relationship with the non-Muslim folk get better. The day we stop being potrayed as terrorists in the movies is the day we can start using this word in airports. It shouldn’t be long now.
Even though we aren’t supposed to, I still see Muslims swearing everyday. It’s almost as if they believe swearing is sunnah… how lame is that? Seriously … the second I end prayer some doofus always goes, “Let’s get the f— outta here”. Here’s a typical sentence that I hear everyday from our very own Muslim brothers and sisters (moreso brothers but some sisters are guilty). Certain words are changed to common nouns to avoid fitnah.
“Yo Hamzah, we have to fudgin’ pray Maghrib in like 10 fudgin’ minutes and then run off to our fudgin’ test which will be a pitch.”
Fudge has replaced the F-word while “pitch” has replaced the B-word that rhymes with Ditch. Unforutnately the Arabs still pronounce pitch inappropriately which is why baseball isn’t too big over there. Arabs also have problems asking to “Pass the pitcher of water”.
So watch your stupid mouths. Replace profanity with common nouns so the sentence sounds more humourous and engaging.
This one is a bit strange. Whenever I go to some Islamic conference, after a scholar is finished speaking people tend to shout Takbeer, which invokes a response and that response is Allahu-Akbar (Allah is great!) which is usually said in unison by people.
But sometimes I hear people waaaaaaay in the back shouting Takbeer. The sound becomes kinda muffled.
How do we know that it was muffle? What if there was no “tak”? What if they were shouting something else? For instance: what if something like this happened:
So if you’re going to say Allahu-Akbar, make sure you are positive you’ve heard the Tak in Takbeer.
This one is my pet peeve. People love saying Wallahi (I swear by Allah) a teensy-bit too much. They flippin’ Wallahi everything.
“Wallahi the Detroit Pistons will lose.”
“Dammit, Wallahi I will fail my test.”
“Brother … I’m not going to lie but Wallahi your breath smells like it could stun a yak.”
“Wallahi sister the time is 3:14pm.”
Wallahi is a big thing to do and shouldn’t be used over such small crap. Wallahi I really dislike when people use Wallahi so much. I don’t want to point any specific group out but *cough* Arabs *cough* I think some folks need to stop using it so much.
In conclusion, your mouth could make you or break you. Make it the former. The latter sucks.