Casino Dawah Backfires

Written by: Hamzah Moin

Las Vegas – An eccentric Muslim man from Carson City bargained more than he asked for last Thursday. Aabid Yusuf, 37, found his stay at Grapevine Casino to be less than pleasant.

“I went to the Casino to do some dawah of course because people there are oh so Haram.” said Yusuf. “I figured this would be a prime spot to spread the religion of Islam.”

Although Yusuf just recently got into the Dawah gig, he took tips from many prominent Muslim leaders. “They told me to pass out these one minute messages where all the Islamic information is written on a brochure and I just hand them out. It’s great because I hate talking and people just read it on their own. Best one minute of their lives I bet.”

Casino patrons disliked Yusuf’s tactics however. Sylvia Lopez, a local resident, was disgusted. “I said I didn’t want to take anything and he insisted that I would go to hell if I didn’t read it. When I kept refusing he started mumbling something about Kafirs and Jihad or something”

Other casino goers didn’t mind. “I like to read books in the washroom”, said Andrew Smith, “and I need bookmarks. Thank God I bumped into this guy handing out all these bookmark things.”

Mr. Yusuf caught wind of people abusing his brochures however and decided to change his tactics. “Well it was time for prayer anyway so I stood on the craps table and started giving the call to prayer (athaan). People got angry but hey, when a man has to pray a man has to pray.” Eyewitnesses report that Mr. Yusuf could only find a spot to pray between two slot machines.

Yusuf’s shenanigans did not go unnoticed by Casino security who asked him to politely leave unless he participates in one of the games. Yusuf took the bait. “Hey… if I could convert ten people by tonight by doing a “little” bit of Haram them it would all worth it.”

Unfortunately for Aabid, the one quarter he put into the slots machine turned into ten quarters and before you knew it, he was there until 3AM. Yusuf notes, “I almost got three cherries. Cherries mean more money and more money means more zakat. All this is going for a good cause I swear.”

By the end of the night, Aabid Yusuf spent his entire Imam-training money on the slot machines. It was reported that he got into a fight with the casino management saying he wanted his money back because “betting was Haram” and that “the machine was rigged”. In response, the management banned him from the casino.

Since then, Mr. Yusuf has been seen performing more rigorous dawah exercises in bars and strip clubs.

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