Hate the Maniac

Written by: Hamzah Moin

I don’t get too much “hate” mail. If people have a problem with the site they would e-mail me with class and I like classy e-mails. Unfortunately you get the occasional dumbo who posts with emotion or nonsense rather than thought. I think we’re all guilty of it at times but I decided to show people what bad adaab really looks like. I have removed the names to avoid backbiting and made them “generally dumb e-mails”.

Asalaam u Alaikum, Your site is really funny, a lot of humor but you know what I also find funny? The fact you publically make fun of Islam, knowing that non-muslims may be reading this, pathetic.Okay maybe not too pathetic, but still, I know you probably respect your religon, but you have no right to make fun of other Muslims. No one is perfect.

No one is perfect you say? Actually, Prophet Muhammad (SAW) is. Ohhhhhh. Got you there. A perfect example of a Muslim he is.

sorry but i think your site is not very good. The first article i sore was anoying habbits in sallah that was good and funny but from then on it started getting worse. for e.g. you have racism going on in your chat room on arabs when the prophet him self was an arab, now you could say it is a joke but to arabs it is very haram, in the quran it says ‘no arab has power over the non-arab, and no non-arab has power over the arab’.secondly, you mock women when in the quran it clearly states men and women are equal.ma salama

I’m “Sorey” you “Sore” my site in that light. I’ve been called sexist, racist, Zionist and any other kind of “ist” you can think of so I’m getting pretty used to people throwing prejudice tags on me. I don’t pick on a particular group. I make fun of everyone equally. Naturally some sisters reading that are probably flailing their arms in resentment and tightening their hijabs and/or niqabs and/or ponytail.

Yes I make fun of sisters a lot on this site but brothers do dumb things too… just in different ways. All in due time. In the mean-time, I’ll stop making fun of sisters if they stop giving me material and so far I don’t see any stoppage of material anytime soon.

I excluded his last paragraph but his last line asked for forgiveness to Allah (SWT) on my behalf and wished for me to go to Paradise. I think that’s a good gesture. Awwww.

mAnNNN, wAssuP witH yo lAme Site dawG! WhAtchyA trYin tA do Up in hEre? u tHink aLl thYs mockery is Islam, coMe on man! wE aLl musLims, so dont mEss roUnd with ma rEligIon, yA heard. OO,aNd if yOu do, ImmA get alL uP in yO face. - Yo mAmMMA!!!!!!!!!! aint the bahroom

Actually, the biggest mockery to Islam are unintelligent Muslims who have not mastered the ability of “keyboarding”. Bad keyboarding is a Bad Dawah Tactic. If I was on brink of converting to Islam and I saw someone type something like “HeY JoHNny, WhAt woUld YoU LiKE 2 KnOW AbOUt IsLAm?”, I’d scream and convert to Rastafarianism or something. Doesn’t it require MORE effort to capitalize every other letter? I’m sure if the shift key was able to convery its feelings, it would tell you that it does not like being pressed up and down after every letter. How would you feel like being pushed up and down by a giant finger after every syllable you speak? I thought so. Either type in all lower cases like a lazy bum, all CAPITAL LETTERS like a screaming khateeb or do something that most of the literate world should do: write properly. We didn’t attend 16 years worth of school to write like monkeys.

I agreed with the ending though: my ammi is indeed not a bathroom.

Sumtimez ur funny, sumtimez u go extreeeeeeeeeeeeeme

Sometimes I laugh at you, sometimes I wonder who your English teacher is and wonder why they bothered to pass you because you have not grasped the concept that “s” and “z” are two different letters. Back to Kindergarten for you.

buddy your website is friggin disrespectful to muslims, especially the sisters. i mean do u think that we are that immature? go get yourself a life and a real website and then come back and show it off. number two, you talk as if you are 16 years old. come back in a few years when you have matured and reached puberty. maybe, just maybe, by then you would have had the opportunity to deal with us girls as humans, and then you will realize that we are more mature than guys.

*yawn*. E-mails like this cheer me up. If a bed of roses could be in e-mail form then make no mistake: it would look like this. I would like to thank the Academy. And don’t call me buddy if you aren’t my friend. Is that a way of easing the pain before telling a person off?@ the workplace.

@ the home.

@ the uhhh…

Salamualaikum, you are waisting your time

Since waisting isn’t a real word, I’ll make up my own definition.waist-ing
1. To use, consume, spend, or expend efficiently and meticulously.So to re-write your e-mail with the above definition I’d get:

Salamualaikum, you are using, consuming, spending or expending your time in the most efficient and meticulous way possible. Thank you and I love you and *giggle* *blush*

Listen i now that you are not a muslim. You are blaming the coca- cola thing on the muslim, what are you stupid. If you really were a muslim you would not make a site like maniac muslim. I know many people in the arab country have problem, but you can’t say those are MUSLIM problem. It is just that some who happened to be muslims do stupid or bad things. But your stupid site prefers to all muslims. Now because of you non-muslims will have many things againts muslim. And you should at least put some good things about muslims. Anyways i don’t really have anything else to say to people like you. It is you are either a freemason or a stupid person who happened to be a muslim. -Now because of your behavior i won’t make a maniac muslim site LOL, because not all muslims hate their own people.

Damn you caught me. Yes, my site is loaded with Masonic texts and if you take the amount of letters in my name (6), multiply it by the amount of hours it took you to write that e-mail (4), mutliply by the amount of sale on sneakers at Wal-Mart (50%), divide by 4 (I like that number) and you’ll get a number that probably means something incredibly evil in Masonic texts … just like every other number. Also if you stare closely at the Maniac Muslim logo, you’ll see several symbols for the numbers 13, 2, 123, -1 and 3.14159 … all incredibly evil stuff. Anyway, your e-mail makes no sense and by calling me a non-Muslim you’re really screwing up your chances on the Day of Judgment. Imagine having all the right stuff to go to Heaven then you realize it’s all gone to flush because you judged somebody’s iman and played the role of Allah (SWT) on earth? Man if that isn’t the biggest eternal bummer in the world, then I don’t know what is.

Harsh? Probably. A lesson learned? Yes.
Moral: Adaab is key. More e-adaab and less e-courage.