Imam Misses Fajr

Written by: Hamzah Moin
Last week, local Imam Abdullah Saif, missed his first congregational Fajr prayer in years at Masjid Al-Akbar.

“We were all standing in a line after the iqama (call to prayer) was called and we didn’t know what to do.” said a regular Fajr goer. “We stood there for 5 minutes until we pushed that guy with that really huge beard up.”

Imam Abdullah was devastated. “I can’t believe it,” he said, “I shouldn’t have stayed up all night after Isha to argue with those Progressives in that Islamic chatroom. We argued about the permissability of Skittles all night long.”

Fortunately for Imam Abdullah, new innovative products are coming out that are starting to help Imams everywhere.

Imam Abdullah had nothing but praise for Kazaa Prayer. “Man this program is neat,” he says, “it shows exactly how many prayers I missed over the years and shows which prayers I need to start working on.”

Kazaa Prayer! is a new invention that helps keep track which prayers still need to be made-up (kazaa). It also grades you on which prayers you need to start working on.

There are some complaints from the community however. Salah Fideen feels that this program is “too” innovative. “I mean I know it helps out and I think it’s really beneficial but it’s obviously a biddah (an innovation) because it isn’t from the Qur’an or Sunnah”. It has been reported that Fideen sleeps on hay. He also doesn’t like “artifical” athaan clocks.

Other complaints of Kazaa Prayer are that it tracks your prayer progress a bit maliciously meaning that if you miss enough prayers, Kazaa Prayer usually installs other unsolicited pop-ups on your computer as punishment.

Salah Fideen is disgusted by this. “Unsolicited pop-ups are probably biddah too.”