TweetWritten by: Hamzah Moin In a surprise turn of events, a bunch of Jews bought …
MIAMI – An innovating marketing strategy to entice donations ended with a whimper for Masjid Al-Shams. “It was awful,” said Mosque President Abdul Malik Sayeed, “I think we somehow lost money on this fundraiser.”
Inspired by the highly successful ALS #IceBucket challenge, the Mosque’s board decided to put their own unique spin to increase donations for the masjid. The twist was to hold an “Ice Wudu Challenge” which made participants painfully perform their ritual purification in ice-cold water. It didn’t go as planned.
“I think when I got to the ‘rinsing the nose’ part I suffered one of the worst brain freezes of my life,” said veteran wudu performer Sherryar Khan, who passed out sometime during the contest. The Imam, who used to be a lifeguard before he completed his religious studies, successfully revived Khan through mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
Had the contest been successful, President Sayeed had plans for a sequel of the contest. “‘Ice Ghusl Challenge’ was the logical next choice but it would have been really awkward to film.”
Juma attendance the week of the fundraiser was at a record low. “We realized all the people who did the contest are now suffering from a severe bout of hypothermia,” said Sayeed.
The mosque’s treasurer was vexed that the math didn’t add up. “We actually had a lot of participants… about 500 or so. I think most people didn’t even realize it was a fundraiser. Why did bags of ice suddenly quadruple in price this week?”
Hrundai Dubashi, owner of the nearby gas station that sold the mosque their bags of ice, couldn’t be reached for comment as he is currently vacationing in the Bahamas.