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Written by: Hamzah Moin
In an unexpected twist, Muslims everywhere got fooled on April 1st. This was alarming because the Muslim community is known for their non-gullible nature.
“I was a bit shocked by this prank,” said President of Islamic Society of Greenwich, “whoever made it up must have been a sick genius.”
The prank was ironicially about April Fools Day itself. Year after year, Muslims all over the world believe April Fools day was the celebration by non-Muslims when Muslims were defeated in Spain. In yet another ironic twist, this story was actually an April Fools prank written by Ghulam Alam.
“Yeah I thought it was funny,” said the notorious prankster, “usually when you say something is Haram, people never check the validity of it. They just believe it.”
Alam did similar pranks last year when he announced that Coca-Cola still contains cocaine and the year before when he declared that all automobile companies send 78.6% of their profits to Israel.
“I was a bit upset by that prank,” said Mr. Khan, a local Muslim in Greenwich, “I sold my cars when I heard that and I started to walk to my work everyday. It took like 2 hours.” Mr. Khan was eventually terminated from his job due to his extreme tardiness and severe fatigue that he suffered during working hours.
The Imam of Greenwich mosque was also not impressed. “Is this what the youth are learning from the kufaar schools? Are they learning kufaar tomfoolery?” The Imam later ranted in a khutbah about the concept of Aprils Fools Day.
“If April showers bring May flowers then March winds bring April fools” said the Imam in the khutbah. Unfortunately nobody in attendance could understand what the Imam was trying to say.
There are some reports that the reason why the Imam was so angry during the khutbah was because someone filled his lota with cappucino but the Imam declined to comment.