Salami Salam

Written by: Hamzah Moin

Saying salams to the opposite gender on campus is actually quite the trivial issue. Some scholars say that men should be required to initiate the salams to the sister while other scholars say it should be sister that should start off with the salams.

The following scenario looks at a common incident through different points of view and what exactly is going on inside the minds of a sister and a brother (in Islam).

Sister’s Point of View

**sister walks out of exam hall**

Oh my gyad, that chemistry test was so easy! I’m sooooo happy for finishing my last exam. This is the happiest day of my life! LOL!
**a brother exits from opposite exam hall**

Oh, WHO is that? Is he Muslim? He has an ugly beard ewww. He looks scary. And WHY is he walking this way? Oh my God he’s headed straight towards me! Okay, be calm… it’s all normal. Just be polite and make eye contact and…

BROTHER: Assalamu Alaikum
SISTER: Walaikum Musalam

OH MY GOD. He just said salams to me! No way it must have been to someone else. Wait, but there is no one else around. OH MY GOD IT WAS FOR ME. But why? Why would a random brother just say salams to me? It just doesn’t make sense. I’ve been wearing this hijab for ages… so why the salams NOW?

Hmmm, this brother looks like he’s almost done in under grad. Isn’t that the brother who got into med school? Wow he’s so smart mashAllah. Why would someone like that say SALAM to me? Was he just trying to be nice? Hmmm.

OR maybe he was being MORE than nice. Yeah I think that has to be it. OMG no way. Does he like me??? I’ve never seen him before but I sometimes study in the science library so he probably saw me. Why wouldn’t he say salams to me then? Maybe he was waiting to become more secure in his field before saying salams to me? I think that must be it. He is no doubt scouting people… of course.

This is soooo weird lol. But mashAllah he’s a good looking brother. I’m sure he’s pious. That beard looks good on him mashAllah. I wonder if he’s talked to his parents about me yet? I hope his parents will like me. I’m a nice girl though. All the aunties love my personality lol.

But if he lives far away then I might have to move close to his parents’ house because his job will probably be around there. Oh man the change in life will be sooooo hard to get used to. I wonder if he’s going to live in his own place or if we’re going to move in with his parents? I wouldn’t mind living with his parents ONLY if they’re open-minded. Uffff I hate close-minded people. I want to have nice in-laws.

I hope he wants a simple Nikkah. I can’t stand all that dumb extravagant stuff  that goes on nowadays. He seems very simple and down-to-earth though mashAllah. Definitely my kind of man. I wonder how he is with kids. I don’t mind having kids but he better not be the type that wants like 50 kids. OMG that would so suck. 3 is a good number. I like the names Bilal , Mariam and Ayesha. InshAllah it’ll be in that order.

I wonder if he’s very science-y. I don’t like when people are too science-y. I think our kids should do anything they want as long as they are successful. Bilal would make a good social worker I think.

He seems like the type that would always compliment my cooking, no matter how bad it is lol J I hate guys who think women belong in the kitchen. I think he’ll help out once in awhile too. He seems so gentle and delicate hahah.

Wow I hope when Bilal grows up he’ll let me and that brother live with him. I don’t want to go to any retirement home! No inshAllah that brother will instil good values into Bilal. But OMG should I wait until he says salams again? I’m sure he’ll make the first move.

Brother’s Point of View

**brother walks out of exam hall**

Wow. I think I failed that exam. I haven’t shaven for days because of these stupid exams. I look like a werewolf. Stupid science. I think I’ll switch into political science next year… I can’t take this. Hey is that a hijabi over there? Hmmm I think I should be polite and say salams.

BROTHER: Assalamu Alaikum
SISTER: Walaikum Musalam

Man, I’m hungry. I wonder what’s for dinner tonight? Hopefully spaghetti.