Man Misinterprets Sermon; Literally Waits for a Guest Named "Ramadan" to Arrive

SAN DIEGO - Ghulam Kamaluddin felt particularly inspired by the Imam’s sermon last week. “We have a special guest visiting us soon,” says the Imam, “Ramadan is almost here. Are you ready to welcome Ramadan?” The topic, about the impending arrival of the holy month of Ramadan, struck a huge chord with Kamaluddin despite not understanding the metaphor.

Ghulam tuned out the rest of the khutbah once he realized the state of his house. “As soon as the Imam said that some guy named Ramadan was going to crash my place I immediately started thinking of all the stuff I had to do around the house. It was in no shape to take any guests.”

He hurried home after the sermon and yelled at his family to clean up everything. “Hurry up!” shouted Kamaluddin to his kids, who were crying and unsure why their father was yelling at them, “Ramadan is coming .... either tomorrow or the day after. And he’s staying for a while.”

When the Imam started speaking about local sighting and global sighting, Kamaluddin thought Ramadan was some sort of celebrity and everyone was watching out for him. “It honestly felt like a Muslim version of TMZ. ‘He was sighted in Australia. He was sighted in Guyana. He was sighted in Saudi but nobody believes them.’ Big deal huh. He’s crashing my place and that’s what matters.”

Ghulam’s place was sparkling clean on the first day of the holy month but he was getting annoyed. “Now I hear he’s either going to be staying 29 or 30 days. Why doesn’t this Ramadan character just give me an exact time?”

Kamaluddin’s wife knew her husband had been made a fool of but she was thankful that he took an initiative to clean the house. “He never cleans unless someone is coming over,” Mrs. Kamaluddin explained, “I don’t want to tell him that Ramadan isn’t a real person. The place has never looked cleaner.”

Half way through the month, a crestfallen Ghulam felt like he was being stood up. “Yo, where is this guy?”